My Grandson

These are the first pictures of my Grandson. Yes Brandy found out today that her baby is a little boy. Most all of us are not suprised. Even Taylor has been telling Brandy that it is a brother that is in her tummy. At 5 month old he seems to already have his own character. I don't think that I have ever seen that arms wrapped around under his leggs pose on a sonogram before. He better enjoy that extra room, it won't be that way for long.

Been oh too long

This is the little cutie that seems to make all of my time evaporate. This was taken at her pre school. She is really doing great now but at first she was crying every day when I dropped her off. That means I was crying as soon as I got to the car. Now she just gives me a big kiss and hug and says bye bye, see you later. The first couple of times she did that I didn't believe it was true so I stayed out in the hall for a few minutes to be sure she was really Ok with it.

It is hard to make myself add to this blog because our days are pretty much the same, day after day around here. But I am going to try to make it a new policy to at least add something every month.

Everyone in our immediate fam had that awful cough flu this past month. Taylor was the only one who finally had to go to the doctor. She developed an ear ache so you just don't mess around with those. Of course it had to happen while we were at Sean's 1 year birthday party and Brandy, Chad and Taylor missed the bulk of the party. Thank heaven for urgent care.

Oh yes, falling again

Summer is gone and we are deep into fall. Where did the summer go? It just never is long enough. I am looking forward to this fall and winter more than I did last year. Brian and Angie are moving back to this coast and I can't wait to see them. They will be living in Redwood City only a few miles from where mom and dad lived in San Carlos. This will be the closest that Brian has lived to us since he first moved out on his own. I plan to take full advantage of this fact. The road over the mountain will soon see me often, as it used to when mom and dad lived there.

If you haven't heard, Brandy has a new boyfriend (Chad) and things have gotten pretty serious. They moved in together a couple of weeks ago and I haven't seen Brandy glow with happiness like this for a long, long time. Taylor really likes Chad and she realllllllllllly likes her "new house". She has her first big girl bed and her room is decorated in Tinker Bell. She is so proud of her room that its the first thing she wants to show to anyone who comes to visit.

So this fall is not depressing to me as most fall seasons are. Both of my children are completely happy, so that makes me completely happy too.

So the Canary's bid a fond "farwell" to summer and a "come on we're ready" to fall.

Self Love

As Angie says we, in America especially, have warped views of love. I recently read a book titled "Screamfree Parenting".(http://screamfree.com/) I needed to brush up, now with this little one here to try the patients of any saint. (of which I am far from) It is a really good book about keeping your cool while parenting. Mainly it has the "place the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on the child that is traveling with you" stance on child rearing. The author mentions that "the Dalai Lama Spoke of a conference he had attended back in the early 1990s. This was a conference of Western psychiatrists and psychologists discussing the issues of self-hatred. The Dalai Lama said that for the first hours of listening to these doctors, he thought his broken English was failing him. He asked himself and others, "Are they really saying 'self-hadred?" He said he had never in his vast experience in Eastern philosophy and politics, even considered the notion of self-hatred. But here these doctors were speaking as if it were a very common, even epidemic condition in the West. The Dalai Lama had no folder in his mind to categorize this human experience."

At the end of the book the author (Hal Edward Runkel) discribes the philosophy of a French monk, Bernard of Clairveaux, who wrote about love a thousand years ago in a work called "The Four Degrees (or levels) of Love. His particular question was how to balance a love for self and a love for God, but the author thinks it is extremely helpful in learning how to balance all of our relationships. I really liked what he had to say. Here are the four levels. I think level four is what we should all be striving for.

1. I love me for my benefit - According to Bernard, this is the most selfish and the most infantile of the four levels. The practitioner of this level thinks, "I care for my interests alone and I am only interested in results that immediatlely and ultimately benefit me.
2. I love you for my benefit - Bernard believed this is where most of us dwell, particularly in our relationships. Someone stuck at this level operates like this "I love you and care for you because I recieve validation knowing I add value to my life. I love you because I need to in order to feel right, safe, strong. worthy."
3. I love you for your benefit - Bernard stated this level is deceptive because it appears to be the highest level of love and the most beneficial to the world. "I am selfless in that I am here for you; I am here to serve you. I am here to serve you and my concerns and motives do not come into the picture at all."
4. I love me for your benefit - A person operating at this level says "I love me, work on me and build myself up so I can come to you from a position of wholeness, a position of fullness. I take care of me so you don't have to. From fullness I can then empty myself, my gifts, my love, my actons, for your ultimate benefit. I am the only one in charge of me and I am the one ultimately responsible for me and my wellbeing. Therefore, as a steward of my greatest gift, my life, I need to take steps to ensure my health, my calmness of mind, my sanity, and my own validation as a person in the world. Thus, I can free you from having to provide those things for me. Thus I can truly serve you without needing you to serve me."

The author then says; "Think of how this might radically change your relationships with your kids. You seek out your own validation from within yourself and from your Creator so that regardless of how your children feel, behave, talk, or think, you are okay and still committed to them. Think of the power of saying with all you actions, "I take care of me so that you don't have to. I don't need you to appreciate me or validate me in order for me to still take care of you."

Loving yourself first is the only true way to be ScreamFree, because it is the only way to seek first your own calm. It is the only way to truly benefit your kids without burdening them with the need to benefit you. It is not their job, nor anyone else's, to meet your emotional and physical needs. As an adult, one who is responsible to so many others you love, it is up to you to pursue your own emotional fulfillment. This doesn't mean you don't ever need other people, not by a long shot. But it does mean your life and your health is up to you. The sooner you embrace that truth and embrace the calling to love yourself first, the sooner you can truly serve all those around you, especially your kids."

I think that this works for your spouse, and all of our other relationships too.

Memorial Day Campout

For years now Brandy has gone camping with her friends over the three day weekend of Memorial day. And for years it has rained or snowed. This year did not disappoint. Only this year Brandy didn't want to deal with the mess and discomfort since it would also involve Taylor. So she decided not to go. Boy was she glad she had made that choice since it snowed like a blizzard. Thank goodness it only lasted over the week end and now we are having, go ahead and plant your garden, weather. We are picking weeds and racking leaves etc. and it is hard work, but very rewarding. It's getting nice enough to eat meals out on the patio, and I for one just love it.

Four together

Here we are, first time in a long time and last time for who knows how long. So lucky to have this time together.

A trip to Marine World

We took a one night one day trip to Marine World for Cinco de Mayo. We left Thursday afternoon and spent the night at a motel in Vallejo. Then we went to Marine World on Friday. What a ball we had. The weather was as Brandy said "Zoo" weather. Since she remembers all the trips to SF Zoo in the foggy overcast. To me it was the regular Pacifica weather. Ninty percent of the time it was foggy overcast. But that made the visit even better. Last year we all nearly melted. This weather was very comfortable. And we didn't have to worry too much about sun burns either. Is it just me or does the food at these places really suck? I remember that it was a big part of the fun of going to a theme park to get to eat all the great junk food. Now it isn't any different from any of the fast food places anywhere else you may be. I hope that they still have the great restaurant that we went to at the San Diego Zoo. I am really looking forward to that trip and I don't want to be disappointed in the food there too.

Tami, Tim and Jacob will be here tomorrow. They are stopping by on their way moving to Virgina. I am so glad that they are going to let us visit with them before they go. Who knows when we will be able to get all of us sisters together again. I hope that everyone here in Carson City will get to come over and visit with them. They plan to leave Tuesday, so short visit but better than nothing!!!

Easter Joy

Easter was such a fun day. Watching the little ones searching for the goodies spread across the dead winter grass was great. Even though the kids were all bundled up and freezing since it was snowing. Yes, Nevada really knows how to have a celebration of spring and new beginnings!

However, today would be a much better day to have that celebration. The windows are all open and fresh air is streaming through our house chasing all of the stale winter stuff out. What a smell the spring air has. It even smells like newness. It lifts those dull winter spirits too. It was getting pretty bad around hear, I think we all had cabin fever and winter blues. We took Taylor to feed the ducks and play at the park too. You could really see that she was soooooooooo ready for a nice day and a romp at the park.